Posted 12:05 AM
Teenage Lame Attempts

"Say, what did you do with Sally? I didn't know JLo works here."
- You've got to admit that's just sad.

"Your smile and the hello when I come in is an incentive towards going out and coming in again."
- Would you like me to say "make up your mind, stay in, or get out!" like your mother does?

"Doesn't she remind you of Paris Hilton?"
- Stop talking about me in front of my face. And I'll take that as an insult.

"I'll have a butterfingers please."
- You can have "a butterfinger", "a few butterfingers", but not "a butterfingers". Here's "a butterfinger".
"I don't get it. Is this, like, supposed to be a sexual joke?
- No. That was, like, a grammar lesson. Do you, like, go to the mall? Or do you go to the mall?

There is no cure for denseness.

Posted 7:27 PM
My aunt is dating the sweetest man in the world. She doesn't admit it of course. The last time I asked her why she was again mad at him, she answered that he was crazy. Crazy for her, I would think.

Auntie is one of those beautiful women everyone pursued at one point in their lives. She's gorgeous, funny, have great common sense, good to animals as well as people, and kind hearted, feminine to boot. Women wants to know how she did her makeup, men leave their girlfriends at a moment's notice if she so much as winked at them. You get the picture. For as long as I've known her I have seen her leave many men; her and I are very alike in that respect. When we find a great man we take tail, at full speed, in the opposite direction. The few that refuses to leave us alone we scorned, then change our minds about, then scorned again. It's a most embarassing family trait.

So this man that my aunt is going out with would drive all the way out to the west end of the city, drive us both to the East end of the city to grocery shop, usher both of us into the car to get out of the cold, then proceeds to load all the groceries by himself, refusing any offer of help from me. He would drive downtown to pick us up just to drive me home in the west end of the city, and then to drive her home. He never says much, but if has anything bad to say, he keeps it to himself. He is one of the kindest man I have ever met.

So of course she pushes him away at every chance she can get. Here's a normal exchange:
"We could give out lai-shee (red pockets), but we'd have to get married."
"You're crazy. Shut up."

I wish he'd NEVER leave her alone.

Posted 7:12 PM
I agreed to spend Christmas eve with my aunt. Apparently I told her I would, months ago. Last year she dragged my cousin James; this year she hooked me in.

I have never been at an "older people" social dance club. I have sung for many. It is a completely different perspective on the music scene. Like a small scaled Dancescape.tv show, everyone knew how to dance, to a certain level. I was the only one in the room who only knew how to swing and jive. The dance instructor taught me basic Cha-cha and Rhumba within minutes.

I wore my khakis and black tutleneck with a poboy hat. The men in the room had trouble telling whether I was a boy or a girl because the rest of the women were overly dressed in sequins and long dresses. The only thing that betrayed me was the long braid and high heeled boots. For once, I was taller than most of the men in the room.

And yes, I have to admit, it was fun.

Posted 7:51 AM
Evening out with G.

Tequila Bookworm:
"This is good. It's driving music."
- We're not driving.
"We could pretend we're driving."
- We could pretend we're ducks. Quark.
(Anyone who tries to point out that the quark pun doesn't work is a nerd.)

At the hat shop (#1)
"How's this one?
- It looks gay.
"I always look gay. I can't help that."
- Warning: you will be quoted.

Hat shop (#2)
-I dare you to put on those boxers on as a hat.
"Is it me?"

Big It Up
- Try this. It's a leather cowboy hat.
"You know what the scary thing is? It doesn't look that bad."

"I just had to hug you."
- cause I'm fuzzy like sheep?
"No. I don't hug sheep. I screw them."

"Think I should get that cowboy hat?"
- You're NOT a cowboy.
"I ride like a horse."
- You can ride a horse, be hung like a horse, but not ride like a horse.
"Do I though?"
- I'm not in a position to say so.
"We could get you into the position to say so."
(Virtual *SLAP*)

After hat shopping:
"Wait here. I have to fix my hair."
- Aren't you putting on a hat?
"Shut up."

- You do realize that we bought matching hats.
"different colors."
- You keep telling yourself that we're not nerds.

Posted 7:24 AM
"Do you have time tomorrow?"
- I'm working all day.
"Why do you work so much?"
- Making money, maybe?
"Oh...and what are you going to do with all that money?"
- I'm saving it. Someday I plan to buy a house.
"What would you do in that house?"
- I'll have dinner parties with like-minded individuals, give recitals and poetry readings, and most of all, keep my social circle within people who do not ask stupid questions.