Posted 4:18 PM
Sunshine worklog

What's more lame than one man trying to flirt? Two people, friends, trying at the same time, alternating lines. The success rate is nil. There is some amusement to be had, however.

"So I see you're a singer"
- That's right.
"Do you like the ballet? Would you perform in a ballet?"
- I'm a singer, not a ballet dancer. I'm a doctor, not a friggin WALL.

"So do you have time to go see the ballet?"
- No.
"What do you do for fun?"
- I play chess.
"So why don't you take your chess off and go see the ballet with me?"

"I can tell you are a person who loves to have fun but doesn't have time to do it."
- Do you use that line on everybody, and does it EVER work?

"So when's a good time for you?"
- Never.

Posted 9:07 PM
Sunshine worklog:

"Wow. Woah. Wow. Can anything be more beautiful than this?" Exclaimed the jogger who happened to jog into a cybercafe. I thought he meant the computers (a room full of matching cases can do wonders for a geek) but apparently he meant me. I guess I should've skipped the red lipstick; it's insanity inducing.

"Are you married? You must have a boyfriend."
- I'm too young to be married.
"Well then you must be waiting for a blue eyed blonde prince charming. That's the only type of men Asian girls like."
- That's not true.
"Trust me I have experience on this."
Trust me. I'm genuinely Asian.

"If I'm rich, had blond hair and blue eyes, I would marry you and have your babies."

What do you do if your screen gives you two options "restart" or "exit without restart"? I usually click on "exit without restart" myself. Some stop in their tracks, panic, go into donkey mode, and starve on the spot. I'm talking about the famous donkey between two baskets of carrots scenario of course. Usually I would hear this shout across the room, "Sally, something's wrong with my computer! It's restarting!"

"You're looking very nice today."
- I had a gig, and then I had lunch. I haven't had time to change makeup colors yet.
"A gig? Private party? The men must've loved you."
- It was a private school Christmas assembly for a bunch of kids 11 and younger.

My life is hilarious.

Posted 5:50 PM
We were greeted by a room full of screaming children, and I almost had a heart attack. Jenny had the situation under control; aside from my overzealous lyrics reading, we looked as if we knew what were were doing. The kids had a great time singing along (and a good thing too. They know the lyrics better than I do) and jumping around. They all stood up and bounced on "Rocking around the Christmas Tree". It was quite a sight.

At one point Jenny asked for two teacher volunteers, and we almost had a riot of children running off to catch their teachers.

Posted 11:29 AM
Today is a funny day. I have a gig at a private school, with an audience of children from grade 1-6. It's their last day of school, and you guessed it - it's the Christmas assembly.

Being first generation Chinese, I know all my Christmas carols in Chinese, and don't know any of the words in English. I'm holding a pile of lyrics that I have to have semi-memorized and be ready to sing it with Jenny in 30 minutes. We picked songs that have no religious connotations and are completely politically correct; I don't know the words to any of them. This is going to be one exciting gig.

Posted 9:51 PM
The rehearsal log:

(Substituting for Jenny, the coach of TABB4)
"Can we hold this note longer?"
- If the other Jenny says so. This Jenny has no power.

"...matter of fact, I'll strip it all down right now - I don't care." - annonymous.
- Oh yes you do.

"You look like a ski bunny."

- Should I wear this outfit?
"It's too ... tan."
"Honey, that's a power suit. You have a date, not an interview."

"What are you drawing?"
- You. In a poncho.

Party recollections:

- I remember you being quite lewd. I was offended.
"I don't remember a thing."
"He wasn't lewd. He was just being a man and doing some pretty manly things never done in front of women."

- He was sooo ready to hurt you.
"Really?"
- Exact words: buddy, if I didn't like you I'll punch you out right now.

"I'd actually find you attractive if I was your age."

"Do we have to sing at EVERY party?"
- How could you say no when somebody asks you to sing?

"We want Bryan! We want Bryan!" Those hockey players were insane. Or drunk. Or both.

"Whose lap were you sitting on?"
- If I was sitting on somebody's lap, do you expect me to remember whose?

"How did you almost go with those guys?"
- It seemed like a good idea at the time.
"Really."
- I have a weakness for artificial flowers.

- What were you guys doing outside in the cold?
"Singing."

Posted 8:02 PM
I've been having a hard time writing poetry lately; it's almost as if I've lost my muse. There isn't anything distressing in my life right now, to the point where you can say "everything's coming up roses." In other words, I have nothing emotional to draw on. Now I understand why Dorothy Parker wrote "never love a poet".

I tried again today. This morning. On the Bus. When I used "quantum foam" to rhyme with "stone" I knew I was either reading too much Michael Crichton or my inner voice is saying "don't write today". That, or I'm suffering from schizophrenia.

Let's do informal Haiku.

Everything's coming up roses,
My poetry's pushing up daisies.
Forced rhyme and heartless verse.

Posted 8:55 PM
One of those days; discovered a pile of work that should've been done since 3 months ago; left early to go to dinner but ended up getting embarrassingly lost. A trip that, under normal (normal is a strangely peculiar circumstance to be called by that name; it happens much too far and in between to be termed as such) siturations, would've taken me less than 40 minutes. I missed the wrong bus, and l was dumb enough to get on the next wrong bus. After passing my stop by a good 5 stops, I finally realized (by the help of my trusty map) that I was extremely lost. After a few frantic phonecalls, my friend sent his son to the bus stop to pick me up.

By then it was 6:30 PM and the dinner reservation was for 5 PM. I apologized profusely; my friend was glad I was not kidnapped by aliens.

Posted 11:59 AM
You know you're having a pretty day when the bus driver greets you with "gosh, you're gorgeous." Extra points given if you've just been standing in a blizzard for half an hour.