Posted 11:56 PM
Christmas Concert! I took notes all day on my brand new palm pilot to ensure accuracy.

The rehearsal officially started at 9:40; we ran through everything we thought needed to be ran through. Alex's softshoe dancing was giggle worthy; I managed to sing Santa Claus Is Coming To Town without a single mistake. Not bad for a song I learned yesterday.

Adrian failed to materialize for the rehearsal, so we couldn't run throuch any songs he was in. We contemplated using Melissa's voice backstage while our conductor carry out the choreography. We're also glad, in hindsight, that we chose to ditch said idea. We looked high and low, made phonecalls, left messages; still no sign of him.

The show went off not without hitches. Halfway through the first set, there was still no sign of Adrian, so out of a lack of a tenor for the TABB4, we were forced to scramble together a Santa Baby routine without him, as well as omitting any song that required him.

After various worryworts (us) came up with scenarios where he was alternately drugged, killed, or lying in a ditch, he came in through the stage backdoor, flustered and full of excuses. Lucky for him, we were in the middle of a show and had no time in which to contemplate murder. In a minute he was dressed and presentable for the stage; a little bit of concealer and powder completed the camoflege.

I succeeded, one set after another, to forget my lyrics. The first time around I was lucky; the sound was garbled and everyone thought they simply could not hear me due to a technical issue. I made the rest of the song loud, showy and creative to compensate for lack of preparation and it worked like a charm. The secret to showbusiness - perform mistakes with conviction and the audience will love you for it.

Note: this rule does not apply if your chosen instrument is a violin.

Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree for me, been an awful good girl, Santa baby, so hurry down that chimney tonight. Santa baby ... Just slip (another?) sable under the tree for me ... Been an angel all year... You get the picture. I won them over by sheer showmanship; it wasn't a vocally demanding number but a test on my ability to take on a Marilyn Monroe character. That I did. The reaction from the audience later confirmed my suspicion that they did not notice my slip at all. When in doubt? Strut your stuff and be flamboyant. "Razzle dazzle them."

Old stories brought up at band party, I ran away. I also claim comlete ignorance of the whole incident. I was intoxicated to stupidity and did something I wish I had done for a long time; call it an excuse if you will. I just wish I hadn't done it in public.

It was a good party though. Good job Patrick.

I was intoxicated by the witting accident orchestrated by a good friend. My Coca-cola became a Jack & coke at the blink of an eye. The Serenaders sang to a group of female hockey players and made fans of them. I believe I will not be able to drag myself out of bed in the mgrning. (Morning note: I think I'll have to take a few days to recover the shout chorus.)

I was given a balloon rose in the train and invited to a bachelorette party at 12:08 am and decided not to go. Firstly, my drink was spiked at the party, secondly, I was invited by a group of men who promised to drive me home. I think I'm JUST old enough to know better. Nice people. The bride was positively having a ball. The men, however, need a lesson in looking as if they're not leering. I'm not being fair here; they were very drunk.

Posted 8:06 AM
The Christmas show is tomorrow. Tomorrow! My mind is on the brink. All of a sudden my lyrics have left me to go where no man has gone before. And they're not coming back. I'm in panic mode. One of our singers tore his ligaments in his right foot. He's doing all the songs sitting on a high stool.

It was a cold, cold rehearsal in Etobicoke. We had the dress rehearsal in a former bingo hall, and it hasn't been maintained since April. The water that comes out of the tap carries a slight yellow tinge; I'm not going to talk about the bathroom at all. It was spacious, however, and allowed us to carry out a lot of blocking.

My study of Marilyn Monroe have not gone to waste. I got all the sexual innuendos down, and it's a lot more comfortable acting a character than it is to put my personal self into a character. More to come after the show.

Posted 8:48 AM
I love Personal Ads. The type at the back of newspapers, usually two liners. Most of the time they make me giggle uncontrollably. Here's one off Craig's List. All-caps in original.

"SWM(49) SEEKS WEALTHY SWF FOR MARRIAGE - 49
SWM,49,SEEKS WEALTHY SWF 35-45 FOR MARRIAGE. I'M 5'7",175LBS,BROWN HAIR, BLUE EYES,GLASSES, BEARD. I'M HONEST, KIND, SINCERE, WARM, ROMANTIC AND VERY AFFECTIONATE. MY ULTIMATE GOAL IS TO HAVE CHILDREN(LOVE KIDS),DOG,CAT AND START A BUSINESS TOGETHER."

Lost and Found ad of the day:

"Lost my mind - had the little sucker a few years back, but it got away (actually I feel better without it). It's grey, weighs a couple pounds, a little squisy...probally dry by now. I thought I saw it at the Ratdog show last night, but it was only others losing theirs..."

Posted 7:52 AM
Came across an annonymous post in Craig's List, Toronto:

"And yes, dammit, success is something women look for, but it�s not the size of the wallet that matters, it's the depth of the success. Because once upon a time all women had the wild crazy artist/writer/in-a-band/university-student boyfriend (sometimes more than once cuz we learn slowly) that we supported, that we encouraged, that we worked double shifts to pay the bills, that we gave our visa cards to, that we went into debt for, because one day they would be "successful" and would support us when we wanted to pursue a dream, except that our turn never came. Usually we came home to find them in bed with someone else, or they leave us for someone else. So yes, we look for someone who can support themselves.

We look for someone who actually cleans themselves up once in a while, we look for someone who will take us out to dinner for a change. But that isn't the only thing we look for, and if the women that you associate with only look at the bank roll, then you need to expand your horizons. There are a lot of women out there, myself included, who don't care a whit about what you're wearing, but we defiantly care about the way you wear it. Confidence is the sexiest thing a person can wear."

I'd love to credit her for these paragraphs, but the closest thing I can get to is this: anon-19577305@craigslist.org if you want to send her fan/hatemail.

Posted 6:55 PM
I'm spending today rehearsing and studying Marilyn Monroe movies. What can I say? My biggest stage idol - I can understand why she took hours to get ready.

Quotable quotes:

"I just can't allow myself to fall in love with a man who can't trust me no matter what I might do."

"It's men like you who made me the way I am."

"I can be smart when it's important, but the men they don't like it."

"American?" "Yes, except on my mother's and father's side. They're Irish."

After saying a string of conversation openers and not letting anyone have a word in:
"I do love conversation, don't you?"

"A girl like I never get to meet a real interesting man. Sometimes my brain gets real starved."

"You hold your breath 'til I call." - Jane Russell

"I really do love Gus ... There's not another millionaire in the world with such a gentle disposition. He neve wins an argument, always does anything I ask, and he's got the money to do it with. How can I help loving a man like that?"

"Relax. Go limp." She collapses on the floor. "Like this?"