Posted 2:03 PM
Describe yourself:

Who are your idols?

Have you ever sung/performed in public if so please tell us about it?

Why should we pick you to be the next Canadian Idol?

What's your proudest achievement to date?

And all of this on one page. Hmmm. No.

Posted 1:49 PM
The Candian Idol Questions:

(I'm not kidding.)

Are you ready for this? My friend Jerek this afternoon told me I should audition for American Idol, and so did a few other of my friends over MSN. The result is, I looked into it - no promises this time, but I LOOKED into it - and did a bit of research. There's a registration form that needs to be filled out and it asks very general questions that take a whole essay to answer and give you one blank line. I'm going to put some here and do it one blog at a time.

...to be continued...

Posted 10:27 AM
My little sister Tina met me on Friday night. She didn't remember me of course; she was a babe in arms when I last saw her. I never knew a baby who cried that much aside from myself.

It's magical meeting someone so like yourself - like going back in time and meeting yourself again. She has huge eyes, short hair, a replica of me at the age of 8. Minus the Coke bottle bottom glasses of course. She is curious and like me, what my aunts called a "problem child". Or, a child who raises problems for other people to solve. I tried as best I can to let her understand what the bhuddist ceremony was about, but when you get asked "why" 10 times in a row your resouces get exhausted.

Tate - I think that's how I spell his name - is as energetic as ever. He looks exactly like dad when he was young, and asks endless questions. I guess he expects me to know everything.

Tanya is the quiet one, or shall we say, the grown up one. When she was 3 she was a pretty little thing with dimples. We used to dress her up in little dresses and put ribbons in her hair. Now she looks completely different and turned from completely feminine to tough girl. She walks with an attitude and you can already tell that she won't let things stand in her way...and that she will always say what she wants to say not what she HAS to say. I like her already and we hardly spoke to each other.

Dad's the same as ever, except we don't talk anymore. Time and circumstances separated us and it still stands - we are just people who are unable to speak to each other. My stepmother is quiet as well, and as much as I want things to change between us I don't know how. If she cannot forgive a 12 year old's transgressions 10 years later she can't be that important to me.

Posted 1:14 PM
I attended my grannie's funeral last weekend. I haven't cried yet.

I grew up next to her. I woke up with her dressing me for school every morning, walking me to school through the familiar park. We'd go to parks after school or on the weekends. She pointed out edible herbs and I picked them; then we'd go home and cook some of them for dinner.

Grannie was a courageous, kind, stubborn woman. She had a temper, she liked to bet at the race track, and she loved me. I was her favorite grandchild - the first child of her first son. When he went away I took his place in her heart; I was there, physically, while he was miles away.

When I did badly in school and the teachers would hit me and leave slap marks on my face, she was the one who showed up at school to complain. She would always pick me up on time even after detention. When I did well in school every teacher thought I cheated - so what's the point in working hard? I gave up on school til I came to Canada.

I remember Grandma's arms. She always used these really big Chinese meat cleavers to prepare food and it used to sent a shiver down my spine every time she cooked. She could chop a chop a chicken to pieces in minutes without flinching. When she sees a roach sitting on the wall she would pick it up and throw it out the window. She was my hero.

When she had her first stroke she was fearless. I was 15. I was afraid of losing her, and I stayed by her side in the night. But by the end of that week she was climbing over the bedrail to use the bathroom at night.

I miss her. I miss her very, very much.